There they were.
Just letting their voices be heard.
They’re all women.
Women with ideas and concerns.
Women with a strategy.
These women, they’re onto something.
I want to serve them,
But I’m imperfect.
I’ll go to the end of the earth,
I thought about it.
You get one life,
Whose cause are you gonna trumpet?
I believe in them.
“I was in the kitchen
and he was sitting at the counter.
He looked at me and smiled.
He said and I’m not kidding,
‘If I were to ask God
to create the ideal woman,
intelligence and talent,
He could not do better than you.”
“It melted my heart”, she said.
“I just went to him and kissed him.”
“I don’t know what to say, I said.”
‘Don’t say anything.’ he replied.
You don’t have to say anything,’
Her ex Max shook his head,
He’s a smooth operator, that guy.”
I’d crawl a half mile
over broken glass
just to hear her fart.
Seriously, that’s how fine she is.
The other day, she was out
doing a photo shoot.
And when they posted the best shot,
it got, like, 600,000 likes.
I mean, it’s obscene, the way she is.
The power that she has.
So I messaged her.
And got no response.
Do you know how difficult no response is?
It was my undoing.
It’s like the worst virus ever.
So then she posts something mundane.
She’s at the fridge, in a tube top with no pants.
Of course it’s a product placement,
but I can’t help myself.
I want to buy, for her.
I spend, like $300 bucks.
I don’t care what it is,
She told me to buy it.
Her wish is my command.
They shared custody of the dog.
Who had always been dangerous.
First day Jack brought him home,
from a prison like pound in Carson,
Gave him a bath and
afterwards, as they were drying him off,
and bit Jack pretty severely.
Now, three years later
and a hundred crises smarter,
Tom Waits (that’s the name he had at the pound)
has to come home early
because he fucking bit Meta Jane.
“He’s in the dog house” she said.
“Why?” asked Jakck.
“He bit me.”
“Ah!” said Jack.
Here he was trying to win her back and…
Boom! The ex-convict blows it.
Ninja star to the solar plexus.
He was loud and brash and almost always inconvenient.
The Second Cousin Twice Removed.
Removed from what? No one knew.
And why twice? Wasn’t being removed once enough?
Bob sat in the dentist chair and the technician, Joan, sang
“Yummy, yummy, yummy, I’ve got love in my tummy.”
Finally, he heard someone else’s voice.