All posts in "LA Stories"

Dirtweed Freakpants

Published September 1, 2017 in Eve , LA Stories - 0 Comments

Dirtweed Freakpants

At the laundromat.

And the knuckleschmucks are doing bong hits in the back.

Like, straight up blowing smoke all over the planet.

And Eve just wants to do her laundry.

Who are these anarchist people?

Ok, it’s California, but do we all have to

breathe weed smoke all day long?

Some of us like oxygen.

Incisor Man

Published August 16, 2017 in I Don't Even Know , LA Stories - 0 Comments

Incisor Man

My teeth are self-whitening.

It’s the craziest freakin’ thing.

I mean, I could rub furniture stain on them

and they’d be pearly white in the morning.

I don’t know how it happened.

I used that light thingy once.

Now, I’m all animal instinct.

I just want to bite you.

Applying to become a super hero.

If It Ain’t Got Swing

Published August 14, 2017 in LA Stories , Musicians and Actors - 0 Comments

If It Aint Got Swing

Hit me!

Not so hard!

And not in the face!

Give me that funky groove.

Now, shake it until you feel better.

Not sort of better,

I mean straight butter better.

You get me?

It’s the rhythm, dig?

The inside pocket.

The beat you feel inside your bones

that won’t let you sleep at night.

Off Kilter

Published July 30, 2017 in I Don't Even Know , LA Stories - 0 Comments

Off Kilter2

After only being here for a short time,

I’m not exactly sure if I’ve been here before.

Some things are familiar.

Like the cricket’s song.

But, it sounds like they’re signing in another language.

And everyone’s pointing pistols,

like they need them to speak.

Then I woke up and

realized I was in a movie.

Fear of Falling

Published July 15, 2017 in LA Stories , Max - 0 Comments

Fear of Falling

Max knew.

It was over, but how to extricate himself?

He held on tooth and nail because he loved her.

But also, because he was afraid.

She was his bridge from fringe dweller,

sleeping on the floor,

to man,

living in a house, sleeping on a California king,

driving a car he wasn’t ashamed of.

Email Patty Cake

Published June 30, 2017 in JR , LA Stories - 0 Comments

Email Patty Cake

He led with “douche-nozzle”.

A term here that means twerp.

Also, a word that polarizes.

Apparently, the rich guy with 3,

million dollar homes, complained about

being told he was lucky

to be on the list at all.

JR promptly refunded him and

gave him the old

umsbay ushray

to the unsubscriber morgue.

Buzz On

Published June 24, 2017 in Franklin , LA Stories - 0 Comments

Buzz On

Some people will do anything to get loaded.

They heard that Australian toad venom had hallucinogenic properties.

So, Franklin, and company decided to try it.

Tasted like burnt tarantulas, and everybody got sick.

If it hadn’t been so expensive, they’d probably all be dead.

Told the ER doctor that they ate some bad frog’s legs.

The Doctor’s Lament

Published June 11, 2017 in I Don't Even Know , LA Stories - 0 Comments

The Doctors Lament

I was blind for a time in my left eye.

From a virus and not wanting to see.

Wore an eye patch and I still saw patients.

Eye doctor said the retina had detached.

Didn’t understand how it had healed again.

I said “luck” and didn’t tell him about the herbs or the forgiveness.


Published June 7, 2017 in I Don't Even Know , LA Stories - 0 Comments


The finches were bold, flying into the window glass, trying to get inside.

There were 4 or 5 on the porch, looking for a way in.

What did they want?

What we all want. Safety and peace.

A place to raise a family away from the feral cats of the world seeking to remove our faces.


Published May 23, 2017 in LA Stories , On Writing - 0 Comments


My memories are small, like these stories.

To be more accurate they’re just little pieces of time.

Sewing them together, creating characters from all the voices in my head.

And planting them in other minds, tiny algorithms once freed, stay in motion.

Little thought experiments I hope continue like the light of long dead stars.