All posts in "Jack Sprat"

Global Swarming

Published April 12, 2018 in Jack Sprat - 0 Comments

Global Swarming

Spring, but it was hot.
Like mid-July heat.
The two dogs wanted inside.
Tommy, the Jack Russell,
was clever enough
to open the screen door himself.
He chose, instead,
to ooze desperation and
the threat of heat stroke.
In the cage was the insect,
a little Pom mix that’s
a tad bit inbred.
Basically, a canine gnat.
Constant jumping, biting
and errrrrrring.
Jack was reluctant
to let either of them in.
“It’ll be cool any minute,
the sun’s going down.
And they’ve got water.”
he reasoned to himself.
“You can’t give in and spoil them,
they’ll walk all over you if you do.”

Your Mother Keeps a Man

Published February 7, 2018 in Jack Sprat - 0 Comments

Yo Mama

It was an open secret

and Jack just plain hated him.

Ruth, his mother,

was still waiting for the divorce

to be finalized

and Mr. Smarmy Pants

was already circling.

He had a pointed face that

arrived at his nose

and made him look like a rat.

He offered to give Jack and his buddy

a ride to the train station

in his little red sports car.

There was barely enough room for two

in the front and Jack had to squeeze

in behind the seats.

He wanted so badly to reach around

and poke his eyes out.

“Going to the Casino tonight”

the rat said, “I’m feeling lucky.”

Word Play

Published November 29, 2017 in Cintusia , Jack Sprat , NY Stories - 0 Comments

 

Word Play2“A hard-on is not chemistry”, Cynthia said,

Hands on hips.

“Damn it!” he thought.

“So close and she has to get all

definitiony. Fuck!”

“You’re right, baby.” he said apologetically.

“Don’t ‘you’re right baby’, me.”

“I’m driving you home.” she said.

Somehow she hit every green light

on the avenue.

Jack couldn’t catch a break.

Just Deserts

Published October 15, 2017 in Jack Sprat , LA Stories - 0 Comments

Just Deserts

God works in mysterious ways.

Rashes, sores and pestilence.

How people love to make him responsible

for all manner of random.

Then search for the meaning why.

Was it retribution or reward?

A death in the family,

the whole block burned but their house was spared.

The tree was struck by lightning and the sap exploded

sending shrapnel towards the house.

In the window was their coat of arms

it took a direct hit and smashed to pieces.

They’re cursed now for a whole generation.

Teen Spirit

Published October 7, 2017 in Jack Sprat - 0 Comments

Teen Spirit

Decided to drop acid and climb the maple tree.

Jack brought his french horn.

Jerry got the bright idea that they should

bring down the telephone pole

in front of the post office with pruning sheers.

They snapped off as they went for

the main support cable.

Thank God that didn’t work out as planned.

Psychobabble

Published October 4, 2017 in Jack Sprat , Ruth - 0 Comments

Psychobabble2

“Freud was the one who introduced the idea of projection,” said Ruth.

“No he didn’t. Freud was a fraud, a coke head, and he faked his case studies.” replied her son, Jack.

“He was not a fraud. Jung was a fascist.”

“What do you mean?”

“A nice fascist, but he was a fascist.”

“Not true!”

“He was always jealous of Freud.”

The Birch Tree

Published September 6, 2017 in Jack Sprat - 0 Comments

The Birch Tree

The lower branches were trimmed off

so it was tough to climb.

But the upper branches were big

and plentiful.

They reached out

over the roof of the house.

Jack was under house arrest,

but it was an easy lean and swing

onto the tree.

Then down into the yard

for a quiet escape.

Fratricide

Published August 20, 2017 in Arizona Stories , Jack Sprat - 0 Comments

Fratricide

So, I go to the local gas station/liquor store.

And I’m wearing a cap with an elm tree as the logo

and a tie dye Indonesian number with a pocket

(because a man needs pockets).

And I ask for a map.

After peeking at it, they inform me it’s not for sale.

I hand it back to them.

As I am leaving, the big dude at the register asks me

“Are you sure you aren’t a hit man, casing the area?”

I answer, “Do I look like a hit man to you?”

“Those are the most dangerous ones.” he says with a smile.

Harvest Festival

Published July 23, 2017 in Jack Sprat - 0 Comments

Harvest Festival

A pile of half rotten cucumbers shaped in ways suggestive.

They were tasked with the clean up.

One look at each other, another look at the mound.

It was on – hurling, howling and ducking for cover.

Took one upside the head, then he caught Patrick squarely as he ran.

Hadn’t laughed that much in years.

See Saw

Published July 16, 2017 in Jack Sprat - 0 Comments

See Saw

See saw Margery Daw,

Jenny shall have a new master;

And she’ll get bounced in the air

and sent flying off…

Jack’ll be caught and given hard labor.

Then, she’ll get paid but a penny a day

Because she can’t work any faster

And because she toils in the sweat shops

that make the emperor’s clothes.

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