All posts in "I Don’t Even Know"

My Sheperd

My Shepaerd

God is the master of random.

He plays it like a cheap suit chess player.

And he is the ultimate in thinking many moves ahead.

God thinks, like, a million moves ahead.

In fact, he’s already thought of the move

that will bring us back to the beginning.

And, he’s already made it.

Your move.

Off Kilter

Published July 30, 2017 in I Don't Even Know , LA Stories - 0 Comments

Off Kilter2

After only being here for a short time,

I’m not exactly sure if I’ve been here before.

Some things are familiar.

Like the cricket’s song.

But, it sounds like they’re signing in another language.

And everyone’s pointing pistols,

like they need them to speak.

Then I woke up and

realized I was in a movie.


Published July 14, 2017 in I Don't Even Know - 0 Comments


Flew too high, fell too hard.

Got wax all over everything.

Punished for getting too close,
guilty for being too bold.

Ruined it for everyone.

Of course, his father was really to blame.

Being all crafty and inventive,
locking up the big bull headed stud.

Labyrinth makers can’t be trusted,
they always kiss and tell.

Assemblage by Maklin Ryan

Chicken Little

Chicken Little

Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?

To get to the other side.

Same reason he crossed the road.

There’s only so many ways you can answer the important questions.

Another equally important question is:

How much smack could a woodchuck talk if a woodchuck could talk smack?

I mean, inquiring minds must know.


There’s a much dirtier version of this story. Bit I spared you because you don’t need your minds filled with more filth. 😉

The Doctor’s Lament

Published June 11, 2017 in I Don't Even Know , LA Stories - 0 Comments

The Doctors Lament

I was blind for a time in my left eye.

From a virus and not wanting to see.

Wore an eye patch and I still saw patients.

Eye doctor said the retina had detached.

Didn’t understand how it had healed again.

I said “luck” and didn’t tell him about the herbs or the forgiveness.


Published June 7, 2017 in I Don't Even Know , LA Stories - 0 Comments


The finches were bold, flying into the window glass, trying to get inside.

There were 4 or 5 on the porch, looking for a way in.

What did they want?

What we all want. Safety and peace.

A place to raise a family away from the feral cats of the world seeking to remove our faces.


Published May 22, 2017 in I Don't Even Know , NY Stories - 0 Comments


Stood on the sidelines in the biggest moment of their careers.
Waited for inspiration from their coach.

“There’s a gleam, men! Go out and get that gleam!”

Puzzled expressions, slowly joined hands.

“Gleam on 3!”
“One, two, three, gleam!”

No one could bring themselves to ask
what the hell the coach was talking about.

Mr. Firm

Published April 11, 2017 in I Don't Even Know , LA Stories - 0 Comments

Mr Firm

I used to be indecisive, now I’m not quite sure.

I have several ways of making or taking decisions.

But I like to make the move that leads to the next move.

Meeting you in that blue dress was one of those moments.

Where I stumbled onto a choice that simply had to be made.

March of the Infidels

March of the Infidels

Nameless, the ant, walked in line with her sisters.

“Thoughts” did not so much enter her mind as influence its direction.

Do or Don’t. Pretty binary.

Do as the rest of the colony.

Don’t question as questions lead to insanity.

Bring back what you gather, be grateful to have a job in the new administration.

Crossover Prophet

Published March 6, 2017 in I Don't Even Know - 0 Comments

Crossover Prophet

Precocious five year old version of Jesus in the Quran.

First, he purified disturbed water with words alone.

Then, took mud clay and sculpted twelve sparrows.

Father Joseph was none too pleased with his Sabbath creativity.

But unfazed, the boy clapped his hands and commanded the birds to take flight and remember him.

Off they went squawking.

(Sometimes, besides telling a good story, I just want to get the Islamaphobes all riled up.)