Which really means we pawned the watch
my mother gave me when I graduated
And if that wasn’t humiliating enough,
then I got upskirted by my bastard boyfriend.
Some day we’ll look back on this and laugh.
Until then, I need a drink.
To you and yours!
May you find a tear in the universe
so that you can step through
and live the life you were meant to.
He was masterful on stage.
Like a flash of lightning.
But, he was totally mortified on camera.
Like he pooped his pants.
I mean all wet and runny.
So, the agency booked Darsky for a tv spot,
And during the interview there was
a fracking earthquake.
Got spooked so bad
he ripped his drawers.