Midnight Ass Itch

It was a little after midnight

when it started.

First on the left cheek

on the inside of the crack.

A really inopportune time,

as he was in the middle of a date

that was going rather well, for once.

But it just kept getting worse.

He tried standing and

sitting differently.

“I have to use the little boy’s room.” Max said.

“Hurry back,” she replied,

“ I need to tell you something.”

Blowing him an air kiss.

He bit his lower lip and

practically ran to the bathroom.

The men’s room door was locked.

He couldn’t wait and

stepped into a closet,

pulled down his pants

and started itching like

a violin player.

Suddenly,

a waiter opened the closet door.

And there he was

hand in the cookie jar,

mortified,

forever frozen in time.

Misfits

This is Miki.

Rumor has it, he’s one of Monty Clift’s lifetimes.

Reincarnated into a South LA feral cat colony.

Born into a back alley chance.

Adopted by a lunatic, he lucked into

a life off the street.

He’s a hard cuddler,

like deep into your elbow, armpit or chest.

He digs in and loves on you.

Like the street is hard.

Like the pavement.

He loves you like a concrete block.

Not everyone made it into the house.

The others still live on the street

and visit him at the open window

where he pushes against the screen

and calls to his brothers after nightfall.

Hail Mary

The cactus flower bloomed the night she called.

“I’m going to Italy,” said Marianne.

“For how long?” asked Jack.

“I don’t know.”

“Where?”

“Florence.”

“I always wanted to go there,” said Jack, hoping for an invitation.

“I need some time away.”

“That’s a good place to paint.”

“That’s what I was thinking.”

“What happens to us?”

“I love you, I’ll always love you…”

“That sounds kind of final…” said Jack,

realizing for the first time it was over.

He winced and threw a Hail Mary.

“Marianne, they know. Someone dropped a dime on us.”

Recipe

The cucumber had died, suddenly.

In the heat.

Mikio had tied it up with

strips from an old torn sheet.

To keep it off the ground

so it would’nt mold.

He got one good cucumber off

the vine.

And two tomatoes, ripe just right.

Look at that yellow with the green

of the cuke.

The collard greens were flowering,

tasty, added them too.

To season, basil flowers

and the olive oil infused with garlic

and salt,

left over from the grill.

Bigfoot Erotica

He had a hard on,

running through the forrest.

He was randy, he was hairy,

and he wanted to put his rugged,

rock hard pine branch

into some juicy, wet crotch.

(Tree crotch, I meant.)

Bigfoot caught Big Ankles

and they made hot, passionate love.

Where he was once chasing her,

she turned the tables

and ran after him,

his dick and balls dragging

on the forrest floor.

(Over pine needles and moss.)

////////////////////////////////////////

Actual Bigfoot Erotica, written by  the poet laureate of the Bigfoots,

Alonzo Longfellows, he was a poet and he didn’t know it,

but his feet

sure showed it.

Grilled Cheese

Pete ad his wife had 6 kids.

Last thing they needed was a dog,

so they adopted a German Shepard puppy.

After having it for about a month,

it started acting strangely,

wouldn’t eat, lethargic,

growled when you rubbed his tummy.

Finally broke down and took him to the vet.

$500 later an X-ray showed that

he had swallowed Xenita’s doll, whole.

“We’ll have to do surgery to remove that”

said the vet, “Or he’s going to die.”

“How much will that cost?”

“About three thousand dollars.”

“I don’t have that kind of money.”

The kids were beside themselves.

Pete wanted to give him

a special last meal.

Thought about cooking him a steak,

but he couldn’t bring himself to spend that much

on a dog was going to be put down anyway.

So they made him a grilled cheese sandwich.

Next thing you know he’s jumping

up and down at the door.

He runs outside and takes huge dump.

Out pops the doll, and he’s as good as new.

“Three thousand bucks” said Pete,

“All we had to do was feed him grilled cheese.”

Their Own Fault

The Donnelly chin

and the Donnelly tragedy.

The old man was an alcoholic,

violent and mean,

he wound up with wet brain.

His grandson lived out his life

in infamy, as well.

Stole from his own mother and brother.

Just robbed them blind without remorse.

That came later,

when he got hepatitis

and his liver was crying.

The regret slowly crept in

and ruined his skin.

He told himself for the thousandth time,

“They went into business with me,

it was their own fault.”

Corrected His Form

Pete just finished a set

playing bongos in the Felipe Suarez Big Band.

Then his phone blew up.

“Yeah?”  he answered.

“You broke his fucking nose?” a slightly shrill voice

yelled from the other end.

“He swung at me first,” said Pete.

“You broke his fucking nose! You’re a boxer,

you could’ve blocked or ducked him.”

“He swung at my nose. I just corrected his form.”

“Do you know who he is?”

“No…some punk.”

“He’s the district attorney’s son.”

“So?” said Pete.

“He will ID you.”

“Yeah? And? He swung at me first,

it was self defense.”

“Five minutes.” the stage manager said, poking his head into the green room.

“Gotta go.”

“You need to get outta town. “

He hung up the phone without responding

thinking of Havana in April.

Anela

Saint Michael, the prince of angels,

fought the dragon and defeated it.

He and his army went to battle

with Satan, his dragon and his army of angels.

The devil prevailed not.

Saint Michael, protector and warrior,

stood for the children of his people.

He fought for them and won again.

Like all angels, he is a messenger of God.

His nature is spirit. In action,

he is servant and messenger.

Moving like an electron between spaces,

making quantum leaps.

And although he questioned why God

wanted to create humanity, he was spared.

His army of angels perished in flames

for arguing that God should not have created man.

Why then, was Michael spared?

Perhaps because his loyalty was never in question.

Makin’ Time

“She was beautiful,” Carmine said. “Since we were kids, she always liked me. I knew how to make her laugh.”

“Her boyfriend was a wiseguy. He and his crew, they were young,

we were all young, maybe twenty five or twenty six.”

“Whenever he went off to jail, she’d come over and knock on my door.

She’d say ‘Let’s party!’. She liked doing heroine.”

“He was crazy jealous. Whenever he got out, I’d disappear,

make myself scarce.”

“One time he gets out and he sees my best friend, Izzie, talking to her.

Next thing you know, he and his crew jump out of a car and they beat him

within an inch of his life. He spent two months in the hospital. He was never the same.”

“He got sent back to jail for that. And Lizette comes knocking on my door.

I wasn’t going to answer this time, but I couldn’t say no to her.”

“So, one day, I’m riding the Staten Island ferry to work

and there he is, with his goons. They all walk up to me and surround me.

I looked him straight in the eye and said, “Hey, Joey.”

“I don’t know why, I wasn’t afraid. He shakes my hand and they all

just walk away. Fucking miracle. That was God working in my life.

He knew I was making time with her while he was on the inside.”