I’d crawl a half mile
over broken glass
just to hear her fart.
Seriously, that’s how fine she is.
The other day, she was out
doing a photo shoot.
And when they posted the best shot,
it got, like, 600,000 likes.
I mean, it’s obscene, the way she is.
The power that she has.
So I messaged her.
And got no response.
Do you know how difficult no response is?
It was my undoing.
It’s like the worst virus ever.
So then she posts something mundane.
She’s at the fridge, in a tube top with no pants.
Of course it’s a product placement,
but I can’t help myself.
I want to buy, for her.
I spend, like $300 bucks.
I don’t care what it is,
She told me to buy it.
Her wish is my command.