- Home > Archive: June, 2017
He led with “douche-nozzle”.
A term here that means twerp.
Also, a word that polarizes.
Apparently, the rich guy with 3,
million dollar homes, complained about
being told he was lucky
to be on the list at all.
JR promptly refunded him and
gave him the old
to the unsubscriber morgue.
Two folding chairs in the garden behind the barn.
The beginning of the two of them.
The first time of many times that would lead to:
Black and white photographs,
4 kids, a loft in Little Italy,
and finally, a failed business, bankruptcy,
foreclosure and the end of them.
Two chairs spotted in the shade
She lived in a shoe.
This made us strongly suspect that something was wrong.
So many children she didn’t know what to do.
Why? No Planned Parenthood?
Gave them broth without bread.
Gluten free bone broth, no doubt.
And whipped them soundly and put them to bed.
She probably had a thyroid condition.
Apparently “Thinking without bannisters” was her phrase.
“Well”, thought Edward, “I need a phrase.”
“Drinking without coasters.”
“Not too shabby, except the alcoholism might come up.
Nope, that won’t work.”
“Gliding without trying.”
“Good! Kind of that millennial bohemian aesthetic.”
“I could live in a an old shoe and pitch it as an alternative lifestyle brand.”
When we are young,
we play for the sake of it.
There’s no payment due or transactions made.
And what is the process, but the nurturing of narrative?
Needing nothing but a stick and a setting.
Everyone knows the conflict, and we all know our roles.
We writers still play, until we’re called for supper.
Photo of Children playing by Walter Rosenbaum, from the New York Public Library Public Domain Collection
Some people will do anything to get loaded.
They heard that Australian toad venom had hallucinogenic properties.
So, Franklin, and company decided to try it.
Tasted like burnt tarantulas, and everybody got sick.
If it hadn’t been so expensive, they’d probably all be dead.
Told the ER doctor that they ate some bad frog’s legs.
When she remarried, George was still devoted.
Carrying her bags and getting the door.
At first her new husband was a little taken aback.
Then he just accepted it and used it to his advantage.
She would have George julienne the vegetables
and subdue the octopus.
And he would have George quietly wash his dishes.
It was the summer of the lonely cicada.
Silly insect miscalculated and came out too soon.
Instead of the deafening chorus with all his brothers,
it was him alone.
Singing for a female who was sound asleep.
Max felt the exact same way,
born in the wrong epoch.
Longing for times of Tommy gun simplicity.
Somehow, somewhere, Max got the idea that things should be easy.
And when they weren’t; God, Mercury in retrograde
and the universe were plotting against him.
After being the victim of years of these plots,
he, one day, had a realization.
Maybe, he was wrong and everything was difficult.
That was liberating, but required work.
“I’d rather be a heel than a dick”, said Edward.
“I mean a heel is on the bottom of your foot
(towards the back)
and a dick is where?”
“I can’t remember it’s been so long since I used mine.”
“I almost never pee.”
“And sex? No, that’s unheard of.”
“Time to leave.” thought Alice.